Eccentric Thoughts

ek dui tin.... jay chole din

Salaams people.How's life going with you all?
These hectic exams made me really maad. And so I was away for a long time. It still isn't finished.. 2 more to go after Eid.. DAMN!
Ramadan.. Ahh... I just wish I had a machine to hold TIME. Gosh! Why does it have to fly so fast? MY! And not only Ramadan, but our whole life is flying away from us.
Let me see what I did this Ramadan:
Most of my plans didn't work out. Except one- Reciting Qur'an with meaning..
I was halfway with it before Ramadan, and Alhamdulillah I am finished with it. This is one thing I am really content with. I didn't realize before how marvellous this Quran IS!! SubhanAllah. When you read an ayah and read the meaning of it- that makes it better. And Alhamdulillah I managed to learn a loot more Arabic. Now reading the Quran and understanding it isn't a very difficult job for me now ALHAMDULILLAH (to the power infinite). I already did 2 courses on Arabic and Inshallah after Eid I am gonna start the next one. I just can't wait to say 'Ana Atuhaddithu Allughatul 'Arabiyya jayyidan'...lolzz
Well, that's all of the good deeds I could do this Ramadan :(.
I planned to read some books, and I ended reading a book that I didn't even plan to!
Lolz.. that's wat happens with me everytime! Ok the book that I read is Islam 2000 by Murad Hofmann. And Masha'Allah it's a great book! What was surprising is that I just started reading it, and finished it within a day!! (which rarely happens with me).. and besides, i m halfway in all the other books I m reading.. lolz.
AHH.. the main thing I wanted to say.. I was reading doe's blog and about the family bond she said.. It brought tears in my eyes! The family bond-i just can't hold my tears when I say this word! It really hurts to have a huge family and not having them all together! I never realized before yesterday I had a HEART that CAN CRY for my siblings!! Really!! I DID!! ANd moreover, only if we, the remaining ones could be together.. I am the only 'leftout' with my parents here, but I hardly meet my parents! Specially Abbu.. He is sooo busy.. Believe me, when doe wrote about that Munajat before Iftar, and that Taraweeh in congregation, I was feeling "Ahh.. You are soo lucky doe".. I miss my young times- times in MY, when we used to have that. I don't remember when last I had Iftar with my father, I don't remember when last I prayed in congregation with my father! *tears* ..This is what happens when you have a father who is 'not just yours'.....
I don't know why the heck m I writing all these here.. But I just can't stop me from complaining.. the day before yesterday, I was feeling so haappy to see my father return home an hour before Iftar.. I was expecting this to be the day.. and just the moment before Iftar, he goes downstairs to my aunt's house cos my uncle was insisting him to be present in their Dawat! I cried aloot after Iftar.. I don't know if this is an occasion to cry or not. I just did... I was missing everyone.. entirely everyone from my family.. i didn't realize before I am soo lonely.... I started missing everybody, starting from my grandma, who passed away 14 years back.... recalling the beautiful times we had when we were young... and moaning and complaining over time, why does it have to go... and y so fast..??!!!
Just then, I remembered my remedy for being sad.. DON'T BE SAD.. a book that I love soo much. And my theory of remedy for sadness is- whenever you are sad, just take this book and open any page of it.. the context of it will make u feel happy! AND BELIEVE ME!! IT WORKS!!!
Ok this is what I met when I opened a random page:
A poet said :
"My soul that owns things is itself departing
Then why should I cry when something leaves me"

JUST IMAGINE!!! How much it matched with my situation, and how BIG A LESSON it was for me!SubhanAllah!! How maad was I to cry over this wordly 'missing'!! I couldn't stop cursing me after reading this.
See what I read then:
Prophet (PBUH) said:"The world is cursed, and what is in it is cursed, except the remembrance of Allah, that which follows it (i.e. other good deeds that Allah loves), the scholar, and the student"
(and how maad am I to cry over this cursed world)
An arabic Poet Labeed said:
"Wealth and family are only a loan
And the day must come when the loan is returned"

To quote from the Quran:"And this life of the world is only amusement and play" (Qur'an 29:64)
"Verily! These [disbelievers] love the present life of this world, and put behind them a heavy Day [that will be hard]" (Qur'an 76:27)
The most prosperous person is the one whose mission in life is to achieve the love of Allah, a love that Allah refers to in this verse:
"Allah will bring a people whom He will love and they will love Him..." (Qur'an 5:54)
...............
And so! I cry out loud to Allah:
I don't cry for being lonely, for YOU are always with me. My true Love is only YOU. My true Friend is only YOU. I seek refuge from you from being ignorant about my duties to YOU, Being ignorant about my LOVE to YOU, from shedding my precious tears for anyone else SAVE YOU!

O ALLAH! Grant me patience to endure the trial you put on me- in whatever form.
May Allah bless me, my family, us, and the whole Muslim Ummah.. AMEEN!!

ps. Uhibbuk LILLAH lil hubbi lillah.... FAQAT lillah!!

(forgot to give the good news. I don't have to enjoy Eid alone.. BIG BRO is joining just bfore Eid day!!yippeee!! Alhamdulillah)
Update:just now got the news that my youngest bro (elder than me) is also joining us for Eid.. but he wants it to be a secret and a BIG surprise.. as the secret already got leaked...we are planning to remain silent and rehearsing how to be surprised when we see him! lolzz!! so u see.. we should seek from Allah and NONE save Allah!!!! He can do whatever He wills! SubhanAllah!

Labels: LIFE and LIVING

posted by eccentric_human @ 11:05 AM